| Meditation on Loving Kindness by Venerable Sona |
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The Buddha taught throughout his life that the practice of loving-kindness is central to happiness here and now, and happiness in the future. The practice of loving-kindness is a blameless practice. Its fruits are all positive. There are no negative by-products. The Buddha left us with several detailed discourses on loving-kindness and how to practice them. The word ‘loving-kindness’ is an English translation of the word ‘metta’ which comes from the ancient Pali language. The word ‘metta’ has its roots in ‘friendliness’. So friendliness is really what we’re talking about when we speak of loving-kindness—a profound, deep friendliness towards other beings and towards oneself. This quality of friendliness must be generated in the mind, cultivated and practiced often. People often feel that such emotions as loving-kindness or deep friendliness need to arise spontaneously, that they shouldn’t be exercised, that they should just happen, or that they drop into your mind from heaven. But the Buddha emphasizes again and again that although this is a heavenly state—a sublime abiding, a divine condition of the mind and the heart—it happens from you and not to you. You are the maker of your own heaven. When the Buddha gave the discourse on loving-kindness, it is very interesting to note that the first quarter of the teachings are preliminaries to loving-kindness - what has to be done before you can satisfactorily practice loving-kindness. Detailing the preliminaries, He begins by saying, ”This is what should be done by one who is skilled in goodness and who knows the path of peace.” “Skilled in goodness” means we have to know what is skilful and what is unskilful thought, speech, and action. To “know the path of peace” is to know the Noble Eightfold Path, which explains skilful and unskilful speech and action. Therefore, this knowledge is required for the regulated generation of loving-kindness. It is the solid basis for the practice. It requires some wisdom and knowledge. The Buddha continues, “Let them be able and upright, straightforward and gentle in speech.” “Able and upright” is a kind of virtue, a kind of attitude. “Straightforward” is again a quality of character, a lack of deviance, a lack of cunning and conniving, being up-front and straightforward, but also “gentle in speech.” The speech is true but beneficial. These are also the foundations for loving-kindness. As a basis for practicing loving-kindness, one must also be “humble and not conceited, contented and easily satisfied,” the Buddha continues. Humility means a lack of ego. It is a kind of flexibility. The grass is often compared to humility, while a brittle tree is compared to rigidity and conceit. When a strong wind blows, the brittle tree will break but the grass will bend and have no difficulty because it is low and flexible. So the low ego, the flexible personality, is not disturbed by reports from reality, either about themselves or about others, because they have not invested themselves with false dimensions or enlarged themselves inappropriately. They have little suffering. The Buddha also mentions other prerequisites for loving-kindness. He says they are to be “contented and easily satisfied.” Contentment and satisfaction allow room for the generation of an emotion like loving-kindness. If one is constantly filled with ambition and the tension that goes with ambition -- the drive to accumulate, the drive to have power — it doesn’t leave room for the peaceful, expansive nature of loving-kindness. These are two mutually exclusive mind states. To be discontented and demanding is opposed to the atmosphere of loving-kindness. The Buddha then reminds us that those who wish to practice loving-kindness should be “unburdened with duties and frugal in their ways.” In the household life, it is sometimes difficult to be unburdened with duties. In the monastic life, it is certainly an ideal to seek a simple life in a small cottage or meditation dwelling without too many duties. But this ideal is something also to be aspired to in the household life. The Buddha is saying that one should not clutter one’s life with frantic activity, thinking that the mere rushing about and doing things is wise or profitable. Rather, one should undertake duties that are proper, necessary and helpful to oneself and others but without merely distracting oneself continuously. The cultivation of loving-kindness requires an undistracted mind. Frugality is one of the ways in which you can allow yourself to have more time, not to be reckless in spending money or in accumulating things. One should be modest and moderate, knowing what is appropriate and what is not, what is necessary and what is frivolous, so that the mind is not burdened. One then has time and space to cultivate what is truly lasting and truly valuable. The Buddha then goes on to mention other skilful states for generating loving-kindness: “Peaceful and calm, and wise and skilful.” Peace and calmness of mind are also foundations for the development of loving-kindness. And the reverse is also true: loving-kindness is also a foundation for peace and calm. So if you want to practice a calming meditation, quite often it is helpful to start with loving-kindness. And if you want to practice loving-kindness, it is often helpful to start with a calming meditation. They support each other mutually. He goes on, “One should wish that in gladness and safety, may all beings be at ease.” This is the essential wish of loving-kindness or friendliness, that beings be glad, safe and at ease. When we send out loving-kindness, we may use phrases like, ”May all beings be happy, may all beings be at peace, may all beings be safe, may all beings be at ease.” Then there is a series of categories. The Buddha makes sure that we include all beings without restriction. He says, “Whatever living beings that there may be, omitting none, weak or strong, great, medium, or small, the seen and the unseen, those living near or far away, the born and to be born (those in the womb), may all beings be at ease.” And we wish, “Let beings not deceive each other, let them not despise other beings, let none through anger nor ill will wish harm upon another,” so we wish that they also may have loving-kindness. The final simile that sums up the picture that the Buddha paints is the beautiful line, “Even as a mother protects with her life her child, her only child, so with a boundless heart should one cherish all living beings, radiating kindness over the entire world. Upwards to the skies, downward to the depths, outward, unbounded, without any ill will.” So we have the simile of the affection of the mother for her only child, where she protects with her life her only child. This means one encourages the positive and discourages negativity. One should explore and dwell on the nature of the kindness a mother has for her only child. The Buddha then describes how and when this should be practiced. “Whether standing, walking, seated or lying down, one should sustain this recollection.” So the posture is not important. It is a thing that one does with one’s mind, whether just before going to sleep or just upon waking up. Whether in the middle of the day, at work, sitting quietly in the forest, in the meditation room with a group or whether alone, one can practice, “one can sustain this recollection.” So one can recollect one’s attitude throughout the day. ”This is said to be the sublime abiding.” A heaven here and now is cultivated and generated through one’s own mind. And it is through one’s own mind, and no other way, that one produces the refinement of consciousness, which corresponds to heaven. The loving-kindness meditation answers many needs and wants in our lives. But it is our responsibility to generate this. It is not dependent on who loves us. It is dependent on us generating love unconditionally for others. So in meditation you may bring up the image and feeling of a mother’s love for her only child, radiating it outward from oneself to other beings. Or you may begin with other beings, radiating loving-kindness towards oneself. You can begin with beings you have a natural affection for, and radiate it slowly outward to those more distant from you, or you can radiate loving-kindness to the vast universe itself. These are all suggestions and techniques. There are no rules for this. All we want to understand is, does it work? And what works well for me? Images, poems, and songs - all of these things may work for different people. One should explore one’s own techniques, and find whatever helps. That is the process of the meditation. You cannot over-meditate. Loving-kindness is always appropriate. It is not a disadvantage in the world. The Buddha lists eleven benefits from the practice of loving-kindness. We will close this meditation by giving the entire discourse. In speaking to the monks, he said, “O monks, there are eleven benefits from loving- kindness that arise from the emancipation of the heart. If repeated, developed, made much of, made a habit of, made a basis for, experienced, practiced, well-started, these eleven benefits are expected: One sleeps well; One wakes up well; One does not have nightmares; One becomes affectionate to human beings; One becomes affectionate to non-human beings; The deities protect one; Neither fire nor poison nor weapons harm one; One’s mind is easily calmed; One’s countenance is serene; One dies without confusion; Beyond that, if one fails to attain Nibbana, one is reborn in the higher heavens.” Without a doubt, these are benefits to be earnestly hoped for in one’s life. We can see that loving-kindness is not something to be occasionally reflected upon, but “repeated, developed, made much of, made a habit of, and practiced,” in order that it does have these benefits. If it is a fragmentary practice, it will have fragmentary results. If it is a practice deeply steeped into the bones, then it will have a deep and profound result. It is a protection for yourself and a protection for others, both to body and mind. It is conducive to a great stability and sanity. It ensures ones maximum enjoyment of this life and pre-disposes one to an optimal fate after death. So I leave you with these words and images from the Buddha on the practice of loving-kindness or profound friendliness. May you be well, happy, and peaceful. Ajahn Sona Birken Forest Monastery Transcription by Donna Woods; this material may be reproduced for personal use only. It may only be distributed free of charge, ©Birken Forest Monastery 2001. |
